Dysphoria - Primal Entropy (2020)

Behind all pointless sufferings, my lifetime leitmotif, undefined, I fought a sticky slumbering and all-absorbing disbelief to leave behind a man I’d been.
A priceless lesson unforeseen. Rejected analysis of reality.
Changed, upgraded, firmer than before, becoming more and more insensible to external irritants – a continuous war.
This apathy is making me dispensable and burdens evermore.
Here comes a moment when your sight pierces through surrounding.
People with a sizzling spite so typical for disregard abounding.
Minor moods prevail over trivial life.
Oppressive thoughts constantly keep in suspense producing an external skeleton of stoic and escapist.
The saddest thing is you are an architect of simultaneous treacherous destruction aimed at human possessions built over centuries.
A collapsing outcast, responsible for genocide of its own consciousness, a master who acts as defiler exiled by its own organism.
A perfect computer, unstudied, under-explored, killing all hopes to find a happiness.
Is that what our nature like? A quintessence of scrappiness?
Are we born for humble service to the torments caused by cognitive perversions?
All the prospects lost? Открыть страницу с текстом

How many lives have been saved due to humanity’s working on a new postwar concept of slashing the conflicts amount, but who knows how many living creatures shall be demolished in the rising extremist flames?
Our history testifies there is no place for the mercy in darkened mind of humanity as we march through perennial war kaleidoscope for the purpose that rots.
From wooden sticks to the nuclear bomb, we are constantly improving our skills of self-extinction.
Starting right from the Stone Age to almost full mechanization, society has been developing the means to put an end to those out of favour – angered starving population, weak nation on the other end of border, presumptuous enemy dreaming of your own end in its sleep.
We despise creation as a nature’s hint. Writing our own scenario on human’s evolution, we become pithecanthropus in the environment of feigned welfare.
What you may see in a distorted social mirror is the reflection of the absurd when children of iniquity, disfigured and blinded by sophisticated ideology, use false science to establish destruction instruments effective in their stultifying principles of mass annihilation.
Feels like human species spends countless days of its miserable life waiting and being afraid of wrath of nonexistent god - the embodiment of mental cancer.
There is no heaven, we’ve got only a hell here.
Our shivering hands are lavishly stained with blood of human kind’s creations.
The only product of nature’s mortals is Hell we all set our hands to.
This meaningless trail shall inevitably lead our race to bitter end promising tortures and sorrow until the last of man draws its final breath. Открыть страницу с текстом

In front of her megalomania we all do feel equal and marginal while being constantly expecting of her to come and cover us with still waters, frozen subsoil.
Her breath blows with bone marrow piercing cold, and flowers are fading away right before her presence, and the idea of her being somewhere close makes you feel doomed right prior to your terrible end.
Creature hardships’ fetters are her faithful servants, they sing of eternity and unworthy mortals – know your days are unfortunately finished.
Like a faithful shadow she wanders silently and supervises your metamorphosis, as if she knows how and where your end is going to be arranged.
Always staying behind, how often does she is interrupt the enjoyment from your life.
Despite the disappointment favoured by our transmutations, she also stimulates internal flame contained inside this weak body of yours.
Last breath is a final date of burning human soul – how gentle services of her are indeed.
The breath is yours just like flame that fades away over time you think your life is eternal– but there is no afterlife for sure, so no self-deception, please.
Its careful death, no deception, please.
She will enlighten the path you are struggling to follow day by day, making each mentioned day filled with sense and meaning.
So yes, she will accept you all, wordless and blindly crying into its dark and everlasting embrace, and folds shall be opened solemnly into the palace of silence.
Payment for your precious life cannot be escaped, her reward for you being alive shall be death. Открыть страницу с текстом

I was once enforced to be a stoic driven by emotional hunger.
A love scenario decimated me and continues to extract all the remaining energy.
Full-flowing previously, shining lakes of my eyes, has now dried out.
We lost our power to submerge into the deep of our consciousness.
We were left in dirt of our vices, a suffocating atmosphere of the relationship exposing the malignant ego of the erring.
Feelings permanent ignition, a chaos of everyday life turned us into hungry jackals trying to tear off a piece of mental flesh at every friendly time.
You must pass all circles of hell to find what is love.
A work of picking and touching on the raw. A strike home.
Bleed but don’t die – that is our motto.
We exchanged the knowledge of each other in joy and sorrow to get harmful experience of our sufferings and phobias inspired by social doctrines.
We hold out against each other to death, and then we bring ourselves to life to endow with hope, filling the air with false fragrances of love and understanding.
All these manipulations are being made in trembling expectation to drive a dagger even deeper straight into the heart of glowing love.
And in this decomposition stench of once blooming symphony we are circling a death dance, washed by minor notes of distrust and furious anger.
We are the vultures waiting to feast with fermented flesh of love and life.
Beautiful in your indifference and mental confusion, you got the right to choose whether to suffer the odd circumstances.
I am no saviour. I am no saviour.
Behold our joint creation unworthy of living due to only destructive energy output which buried by cascade of feelings.
Our only salvation lies in liberation from shackles of this devastative cascade of feelings and emotions.
Our salvation is liberation. Открыть страницу с текстом

Farewell will be your companion in the distant future.
Delete those memories that now are failing to even exist.
Concentrate on what you have got now to dream about.
Keeping silence for so long, at this moment I have to move on.
After voiceless conversation that we’ve never held silently I walk away in chase of the salvation.
My everyday routine is full of speculations – humans collapse narration, a story of promotion of the strife
I will stop being a failure donating precious blood like an oath given by the traitor is only conceived to becloud.
I design my own existence.
Rebuild an inner pillar of comfort.
Cruelly destroy, then reconstruct to make a friends with my own demons.
Where weak one shall start suffering, I easily create an ambiguous structure of vicious flesh and fragile bones where mind remains unruptured.
Therefore let me demonstrate an advantage of being unborn to acquire a new living edge by withdrawal from torment and thorns, a counterintuitive, unlogical movement backwards.
Failure is the only spirit.
Demonize the wicked men, and I am one of them.
Suffocate, eradicate and decompose your ego.
Bring it back to innocence and wash it with own blood.
I decide to return to our ghostly conversation that we ruthlessly adjourned.
Touching lightly with my own hand a delicate fibers we tried to disband I’m taking apart those staged memories.
And during this I don’t feel not even a drop of regret, phantom-limb pains managed to heal.
I’m leaving you a genuine loneliness as a punishment. Открыть страницу с текстом

Humanity is the only life form practicing intended authorized self-devastation, waiting for salvation which has never come to us.
Our compassion does not correlate to society’s way of life forgetting that any other developed species shall consider to be obliged to wipe out the parasitic mold to clean the living space for smartest ones.
A path of self-destruction is an exotic dorky mutiny against deliberate evolution.
All too often this is done to satisfy those animal instincts crawling in our veins, as well as their derivative forms distorted by the human being, unnatural, perverse, sick. This race for hollow benefits sucks in just as hard as the eternal hunger after demonstration that become from ego, a desire to declare against the whole world about your unique identity, but to get defeated helplessly.
A human using ravenous a vicious methods usually places himself into warped perception of reality and badly injured, narrow-minded consciousness, and faces a complete misunderstanding of the concept of life.
In layperson terms, an emptiness, a fiction. What’s the exit?
To voluntarily and intentionally touch the bottom, to leave after yourself a place in graveyard, otherwise dedicate a life to noble cause.
So many wreckages, ecological disasters, man-made catastrophes – I can’t believe a man cannot accept its mistakes at once. Открыть страницу с текстом

The empirical experience proves that people change for worse.
At dawn of the interrelations we are sincere and diligent to create the most pleasant impression about ourselves.
Gaily dancing with lies to look like we use every day at maximum effectiveness, sharing purpose to world, giving ourselves the sense of development.
The age kills all noble motives in us because age is a servant of time.
Time doesn’t mend.
Time saturates us with information, but makes us rough and hard-hearted.
We become suspicious and distrustful.
We look for hidden tricks.
There are no more sincere deeds.
Sophisticated train of chess-like combinations teaching us to feign.
Your goal is to cause damage to social surroundings who are your enemies.
They are the rivals for resources, for the opportunity to feed your egoism further to assure yourself that you are walking a certain path bringing to hedonism, and you can misappropriate the painstaking work of others’ merits.
We ignore request of near and dear, and put ourselves on pedestal of our own ambitions, we create invisible barrier between ourselves and sensible reality.
We fence ourselves with useless vanity by gluing up our eyes with soothing mantras about personal superiority.
We create nothing and drag into this black hole everything that belongs to others.
We fall behind being grinded by the history skyline and our own delusions. Открыть страницу с текстом