Rotten Light - Suicidal Anchorite

I have destroyed everything
Like the worst plague
I have destroyed everyone
That's why offer you my last breath

Another loss, that's what life is
Thoughts for wounds that time won't heal
A world of chaos where hate overtake
A nightmare that you can not wake

Losing in the mirror I see
Who I will never be
The disease I am
And the cure that I need

Bleak and blight is her call
I will wither and decay
Until I drown in despair

I am lost in a nihilistic trance
There is no salvation, no chance
Feeling my body tremble and shake
Hoping to someday to wake

You keep asking "Who are you?"
And I keep saying "Who I am?"
The only thing I know how everything ends
Because it will come by my hand

I have destroyed everything
Like the worst plague
I have destroyed everyone
That's why offer you my last breath
There is no explanation for what I am
A social aberration of blight and dark
Mental screaming day and night
All comes together for suicide

Enlightenment made flesh
Three thousand days of hell
Mokujikigyo
The ultimate sacrifice

Immured anchorite
Dehydrating Mantra
Becoming to perform
The ultimate suicide

No worm shall consume me
Eternity is only a moment
Starvation is my fetish
Sealed in my carcass

Can you see a dethroned God in my scars?
Punished for unmentionable acts
Acts that lead to the wicked path
Acts that define mankind itself

I am nothing but a mindless puppet with torn strings
Walking on the trail of failure and insignificance
Bitter old mans guilt, the demon lurking in thou mind
The night sky is getting closer and I don't deserve to breathe

I have been consumed, apathy, intolerance, where all things are dark and gloomy
Is getting closer and closer, the night sky is above, over my soul
I can't choose, I can't remember, I will drown in hollowness
The cold has numbed my senses and the guilt has conjured a eclipse in my mind

I'm sitting here, in my house, in my home, staring at the black walls around me in my room, remembering I was the one painting them.
Because black was all that remained from all the colors that once shaped me into who i was back then, and now my veins are paper-thin, like thunder and fire killing me from within

Agonizing devotion, excruciating laceration
Harrowing fervour of entwines our bodies

Oh my enraptured queen of tumefaction
I am salt and water in your wounds

I crave for a reason to become a winner but the blood on my sheets says you're a sinner

I wash my hands in poisoned wine
I touch your face with my new hands
I wash my hands in poisoned wine
I touch your face with my new hands

I hide myself behind these words and hope nobody's smart enough to know the art of reading between the lines because they are the one that define that i'm nowhere near fine but death sounds so pretty in a rhyme

I will put a drop of my sperm in your mouth
As the blood flows in your lips
Taste the tearing bitterness descending in your throat
And dance for me, Almighty One

The glass of wineis glued to my fingertips

We descend in Garmonbozia becoming one
Dance for me for you are dust under my feet
Wasting and decaying your vitality
You will breed omnivorous emptiness
Dance for me for you are dust under my feet

it's past 3 am when a pill slips between my lips and one single thought grips itself around my throat and makes me write a suicide note while i choke on the truth that my youth is nothing but pathetic.