Abyssic Hate - Suicidal Emotions (2000)

My darkest fears have become a frightening truth
And the wounds are hidden so you cannot feel the pain
For I have chosen the path of misery and sorrow
And my skin will continue to wither and decay

Happiness - where are you?
Will this grief be swept away?

This madness must stop or this world I'll depart
As reality blends into horrific dreams
My departure from Earth is getting near
And as I approach death, I'll show no fear

I need you here to ease this pain
For I fear it shall never dissipate
Yet you are so far away and the blood continues to flow

I felt your warmth - I can't touch your skin
Remembering, as the knife caresses my flesh
And I summon forth suffering and despair
Yet it is something I do not wish to do

My blood absorbs the poisons
Drugged, confused - the walls enclose around me
My mind is so high - my spirit continues to fall

And the anguish recedes as life slips away
Breathless, I beckon eternal sleep
For I shall live no more to be with you
As I see your face appear through the mist

Far beyond the walls of all safety in a land
Disgusting as the highest of God's heavens
Starved hands keep appearing - clawing
Tearing shreds out of the flesh and mind

And as the sands crawl their unchanging path
All means seemingly focus towards the end
There is no reason to live anymore when the reason cannot be attained

But the solace lay beyond the darkness
In a land where light and life dwell
Yet soon will come death and the numbing fires
Only then will my mind lie to rest

For I am alone on this world
Enslaved and surrounded by the living dead
Yet still I stand tall as I bleed
Deep from within the cuts upon my skin

I think about life and feel pure hate about being trapped here on this earth
Envying all deceased souls who've passed on from this ruined plane
My dormant hours are filled with fear, my waking hours I will not face
All will to life has expired
I just want to fucking die!

The thought of life reviving is nothing but pure illusion
This impulse to end my life keeps on echoing through my mind

Wishing that I had the strength to extinguish the whole of mankind
I know that this goal of mine will never ever be attained
I hate this fucking human race for what they have all done to me
Driven to this destructive state
Guided by insanity!

The thought of life reviving is simply just pure illusion
This impulse to end my life keeps on echoing through my mind

My cries for help have gone in vain
No need to endure this endless strain
My screams of pain seem devoid of sound
Comfort in death I now have found

Silently pondering... "Why do I continue on with this life?"
Silently wondering... "When I die, will anyone even notice my demise?"

My visions are all clouded
I see nothing but red

This hatred has now congealed to a near climatic state
Why do I remain here to weaken through the years?
I am so confused - my soul dies all the while

I don't wish to co-exist with this feeble human race
I don't feel the need to be infected with the disease called "life"

A state of mental grief causes my mind great pain
In this emotional state
I suffer from despondency

Violent and murderous thoughts
Form deep inside my mind
Dwelling on these sights to the point where I'm insane
Why do I remain alive when I only wish to die?
I am so distressed - my soul rots all the while

I'm surrounded by life-loving shapes that exist without a choice
Your fears of death are covered up by the words "Suicide is weak"

Released from the grip of life's burdening chains
My body devoid of blood and unable to embrace pain

With death I'll grow in strength and might
Fading away without remorse
With death I'll leave this weakened earth
To become at one with the night

With death I'll grow in strength and might
Fading away without remorse
With death I'll leave this weakened earth
I am at one with the night