Harakiri For The Sky - Aokigahara (2014)

Sometimes i pose a question to myself, again and again, but I can’t find an answer.
You may say I got no sense of humour, but the smile has been wiped off my face.
There's no kindness in these eyes anymore, no ablazing vital spark,
and once again I feel so fucking lonely, although I am never alone.

Sometimes I feel like I got stones in my stomach, so heavy to haul.
All we try to amend should be an appeasement, but falls on deaf ears!
There’s no turning back, cause we were born at this ridiculous place,
and since we don’t break the circle we’ll be in need of body bags

Is all this happening for a reason or just by mischance?
Is it true, that we are nothing but handprints on a misty pane?
How can we fall asleep while the world is still burning?
How shall I sleep, when I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders?
How shall I sleep?
How shall I sleep?

Everytime you think the most stupefying incident in this world already happened,
there comes one more.
Shouldn‘t this be proof enough for our ingrained failing, prove enough that we should know, this all boils down to nothing?

It's still the same war, in this day and age, we just call it a different name…

I came up to our house, with barren feet and empty handed,
you weren’t here in a long time, but your ghost still haunts these walls.
Over all these years, we slowly lost each others sight,
we tried everything just not to forget, but this life has no clean brakes…

So now that you’re gone I’ve got no more reason to croak in this place,
Alas this formerly lively area now turned out just bleak and lonesome.
So why should I stay, why should I scrape a living by disgrace,
When almost every other spot in this world seems to have more meaning than this one?

I keep on starring at these blank walls, where our pictures hung,
as they indicate: My former home became a grave!
„I am happy“, is something we haven’t said for a while,
we didn’t succed to win this fight together, but at least we tried!

At least I tried!

All these sore memories, hidden in a heartshaped-box,
which I buried so deep, within the power of man.
But the day will dawn, when I’m going to rake over their ashes,
and scatter them into the river, that once flooded this place.

Run as fast as your legs will carry you away from me,
I just brought you misfortune and the sands of time are running out.
But with every minute that’s elapsing, the spleen is decreasing,
and when a few years have past, you won’t be able to recall my face…

They caught us near the street, like deer that takes refuge to the dark.
Always in our backs they snapped us in our weakest moments.
With broken legs you can’t run that far, they’ll obtain you fast,
and take aware to hear what they mean, cause usually they speak with knives
They speak with knives!

Voices sounding like an empty orchestra that plays the soundtrack of our lies,
every single note they bow or wind feels like a thorn in skin.
In the end this journey was anything else but successful, one bridge too far,
we searched for freedom and found nothing but a cold tomb!

At least we found nothing but a cold tomb!

To narrate retroperspectively,
I never thought this trip could end up in chains,
somehow we always thought,
that we’d be the arsonists that will set the world on fire!

We should be the arsonists that will set the world on fire!

And once again I’m calling the rain, to wash away this dry fields of grief,
to wash away my bones and all I’ve ever feared.
Everything I know for sure is that time’s a mirror itself,
Somewhere along the way also the good times have to come to an end.
Outside these walls I can see how night divides the day,
and as the dawn falls I remember: Death always remained more perfect than life.

After a while they screamed:
Give ‘em blades to dig up their own graves!
The dawn marked their beginning, the dawn marks the end.
Give ‘em rope!

I don’t think we will withstand this trip,
along these paths cobbled with shards.
To tell you now makes me feel so heavy hearted,
but one night, this life will tear us apart.

And now that I gave away the stories end,
its facts sneak in so deadly slow and subtle.
But just that something is subtle,
doesn’t mean it’s going to turn out right!

This lethargy, so perfectly shaped, continues spiting filth in my face.
Steady going on subsisting, outlive this trivial life,
although this edgeless dagger is stuck deep in my heart.

How sad a fate, even these tidal-washed detonations of relief won’t save me,
cause in case of doubt, this landmine marathon will guide me to my early grave.

And in spite of everything, someday,
I’ll tie this rope to the highest tree and take my life.
And as soon as my last cigarette has burned to its end,
without turning once I will have left this world behind...

Only death is real!

Sundown! A blood-red sunset and the curtain of night devours the light,
somehow this gloaming looks like a painting of two worlds that collide.
As if you marked it in your dying wish, this farewell couldn’t be a more impressive sight.
So these are our last common hours, cause tomorrow you’ll be laid to rest, at first light.

The days get shorter, even if I try to shout off my head,
weird that every day has its own name but the night holds only one.
But also nascent darkness won’t lull me to sleep,
since I’ve seen these leeches separating the flesh from your bones,

But I don’t care if I should crash these walls like waves,
I don’t care if I should all too soon face the end of my days.
I don’t care wherever this numbness should lead me.
And I don’t care, that I couldn’t care less!

Das letzte Herbstlaub fällt, wie Gedärme auf Beton.
Die Luft wird kalt und kälter, der Kopf erstarrt im Frost.
Betäubt und regungslos, blau und ausgeweidet.
Verhallt das letzte Wort - im leeren Raum

Would you die for me, if I say please? I’d take this numbness with me to the bitter end!
So if you see me stumble, please let me drown! Please take me out! I’m already dead!
You know, I walked the path of sorrow once before, so I will depart and nevermore return,
There’s only one decision in our lives we can choose on our own: Vultures or worms?

This life is a river running through cold veins,
no calm gasp at all, we’re always panting for air.
The irrepealable decision to live and to die young,
we said: ”Destroy! All we love we leave behind…”

Our awful derated state feels like a deathless march of distress.
Scraping through this tales was a hazard, so let’s taste the void.
I saw it all, from heartbreaking delight to crippling pain.
That’s why we left it all behind, you, me and the violence.

At least you won’t dry this river and home’s just a place for the heartless,
no dear friends at all, just strangers with faded but versant faces.
The future’s so scary, but you can't just run back to the past because it's familiar!
Yes, it’s tempting …but it’s a mistake!

Where have you been???

These long roads apart seem like a promising shelter,
a home away from “home”, with a beautiful fierce and a fabulous strut.
Sequel we go on declaring war on nostalgia, hours of remembrance,
we burn all the nice pictures and do the ashes like coke!

All the footsteps we’ve ever left, and the one’s that will follow,
are set for just one reason, someday you’ll understand.
We take step by step just not to stall, but when it’s over,
steal me away and deliver my bones to the sea!

It must have been years since we sat next to these autumn fires,
as nothing had happened since, but anyway, it’s too far gone.
We shouldn’t have let the grass grow under our feet all summer long,
cause no one owns this moments, as far as I know, they just last for a while.

And I still wonder, why this journey finds no end again, finds no goal.
Godspeed! But we will never arrive together at the same time.
Sad to say, that some of us won’t find their way, find no kind of home,
so if I’m not coming home tonight, you will know that I’m gone.

I’ve heard all these old stories, so please, tell me something new,
I heard it all far too often, that I already know the end.
And now I try to attach as much wordly wisdom as I know, in just one song,
but the answer‘s still a riddle, or almost a fucking lie!

This was the bloom of our youth and autumn’s coming soon.
Whoever has no home now, will not build one anymore.

Have you ever seen happy people with interesting stories to tell?

Yeah, this is my human garbage, spread on the tracks of life,
You still search for a reason? Maybe the train was on time?!
Last words? A final answer? Apologies? I have none…
Love has always been the word for farewell and parting!

Listen folks:
Nothing in this world worth having comes easy at all,
For every decision that comes to our mind, we pay the price.
What hereafter will wait for us, only the ocean knows,
but you can be everything but certain,
I paid the price for every word I dropped.
Needless to say, my constant fear of separation,
is actually not disappearing,
Still the same reason why I’m depraved of sleep,
I’m losing friends and above all: I’m losing confidence!

“Forever and a day”, in this case no second abandon,
just pure resolution and our final decision,
in this relation, we never thought to repent.

I can still hear you admonishing me,
but slowing down is not an option.
I can still feel the rhythm and my heart is still beating,
so your presence is no gift, but a curse!
You all once meant the world to me, who knows,
maybe we’ll meet again at my funeral.
Don’t get me wrong, this is no reckoning to the life we’ve lived,
but the only thing we share today, is our past.

Let me back in!

Bleeding hands grab for the last tread,
I exchanged all confidence to self-elected suspense,
Sometimes I suffer from this life hour for hour,
but apart from this circumstance,
my voice gets stronger with every minute that falls.
Did you ever, ever bleed for something?

Maybe these streets would be an easier way to go,
without these turns, just going straight.
but we can’t choose their course,
cause this is how we built those.
I walked a thousand miles to escape these barren landscapes, but they are still here.
They haunt me like shadows, cause this endless melancholy is my oldest fear.

Yet another tone and these walls come tumbling down on our heads,
so that we are finally buried alive, in this dungeon of lies.
After all these years, I discerned, I don’t belong here anymore.
It’s an ardent desire, all we love we have to leave behind!

It’s about time to take leave, please let me tear apart.
Even this lethargy can’t restrain me, it may be too late.
I’m hungry, I’m thirsty, I’m tired and cold.
In this awful state I won’t weather out another winter.

We breathed fire and brimstone, but at the edge of the night,
everything that was left to say was spewed and scattered over the floor.
As well being with or without you guzzles me from the inside,
but have you ever seen happy people with interesting stories to tell?


But if I wouldn’t suffer, I wouldn’t feel alive, dead but still breathing.
An avenue of escape, but blurred in this hazy notions.

The pain is gone, but I still wear the wounds,
They still flare up in heavy snow and glowing embers.
But these monuments of yesteryears, will soon turn into scars.
Thanks for leaving, so I can finally breath again…